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Two Biggest Mistakes We Make When Getting Our Ex Back
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Monday, July 13, 2009 |
There are many mistakes we can make when trying to get our ex lover back. Two of these mistakes can cause your ex to run in the other direction.
A big mistake is to apologize endlessly for what you did. If an apology was going to work, one or two would do the trick. If you've said I'm sorry and your ex didn't take you back, you simply need to follow some other steps before you get to an apology.
If you have apologized and it hasn't gotten your ex to take you back, then you need to learn some basic emotional intelligence before you try apologizing again. Two steps you can take BEFORE you apologize are to own up to what you did wrong and then to let your ex vent in a particular way about how they feel about what you did wrong.
Look. You've broken up. Your ex has a heart. Their heart is filled with bad or mad or sad feelings about you, otherwise they wouldn't have left you. There is some emotional intelligence you can learn about helping people to vent or release bad feelings. If you can get your ex to release and talk about their bad feelings about what you did it can really create room in their heart for warm feelings towards you again.
A second big mistake we make is to come across as too desperate, needy and hopeless. Leaving them 20 text messages or voice mails a day is way too weak. Telling them they've gotta give you another chance is disrespectful of their feelings. Your ex won't want to take back an emotional wreck.
Yes, your heart is hurting. Yes, you feel desperate and needy. There is this large hole in your life that you want to fill with your ex. That's very understandable. However, you dont want to come across as needy. Keep your neediness to yourself as much as possible!
It may be appropriate to be sad and to share your heartbreak with your ex. But only once or twice, otherwise they get the needy vibe, and this can make them pity you. Pity is not what will get you back in their arms. You can tell them how much losing them has taught you in the way of valuable lessons.
But dont apologize a hundred times and don't come across as desperate and like you are an emotional wreck. Avoiding these two mistakes will help you win back your exs heart that much more quickly. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:24 PM  |
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Warning Signs Of A Breakup - Don't Let These Signs Pass!
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Warning signs of a breakup often slip by unnoticed when we are just not looking for them. This often means complete shock by one partner when the other tries to end the relationship. The list that follows details the top 9 signs that a relationship is in trouble. This article also suggests what you can do about it.
So what are the top 9 warning signs of a breakup that your partner may be signalling by their behaviour? Heres the list:
1. Is you partner suddenly away at strange times and working longer or more irregular hours than they used to, with no real reason behind this change?
2. Have you noticed that they have begun forgetting to do things they always did for you or breaking plans you had both made where as before this would never have been the case?
3. Have they forgotten a date that is special to you both like a birthday,a celebration or an anniversary? This is particularly more serious if they have always been great at remembering up until now.
4. Do they seem uncommunicative, distracted or sulky? Do you suddenly find that it is hard to have a meaningful conversation?
5. (Also one of the most telling warning signs of a break up ) Have the levels of affection and openness in how they show affection changed? Are you getting less hugs and kisses? Have they stopped holding your hand in public?
6. Has your partner become disinterested in your plans or whats happening in your life?
7. Have you detected lies and untruths in your relationship, especially over little things that would not have been an issue before? Do you still trust your partner?
8. Have they become secretive about their email, phone calls or text messages?
9. Outside of the normal misunderstandings that are healthy in a relationship, do you find yourself disagreeing with your partner more and more?
Although one or two of these changes alone may not mean your relationship has a problem, three or more certainly indicate that something is definitely wrong. What do you do once you realise this and want to take steps to save your relationship?
Once you know something is wrong you can take action to fix it if that is what you really want. The highly successful relationships program known as the Magic of Making Up Program can tell you exactly what you must do, to make things right. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:17 PM |
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Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair
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Is it possible to convince your ex back into the relationship even though you have cheated? It has been observed that many relationships end because of an affair. But I disagree and believe that a relationship can still be restored to the way it was before the affair. Of course, both individuals have to be willing to put in the effort to save their relationship. This article is all about restoring the trust in relationship.
If you really want to have your relationship restored, the first thing you need is adjustment in your attitude and action. If you can do that, you have a higher chance to save your relationship.
Now look, it is very probable that if you choose to have an affair, you might also be having some attitude which made you stray. There is a possibility that there is something wrong in the relationship. And there is a big chance that you can heal that infection.
Let's get to the reason for why you strayed. Was your partner too busy to give you time? Or is it because she is not grooming herself?
If the relationship is perfect, then you are unlikely to go into an affair. So, how can you fix it? More often than not, it lies in analyzing yourself. But it also depend on the strength of your relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But you need to realize that understanding your thoughts are not good enough. What is important is that you need to take concrete action in solving those problems.
The key to restoring trust in your relationship does not lie in talking about the right things, but lies in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.
This certainly doesn't mean that you need to feel guilty about what you did forever. Just let her speak out whatever she has in her heart once and for all. It is obvious that in the beginning, she will not be happy about the new relationship you are building. Try to be more understanding.
Once you have got some of the trust back and she is now much more calm, try to make a positive spin about the incident. Try to let her know that this had made both of you more mature and you are more committed in your relationship than ever before. Just like a broken bone grows stronger from where it broke.
It takes time to restore trust in your relationship. It is important for both of you to amend your actions and attitudes toward each other. By working on your action and attitude, it will enhance the bonding between both of you and will surely lead to a better and healthier relationship. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:12 PM |
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Marriage Advice For Feeling More Love
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It's no big secret that we all want to be in relationships to feel love. The more we feel, the better. The less we feel, the more troubled our relationship is.
At first, when we get into a relationship, we feel a lot of love. In the first stage of falling in love, we do actually feel a lot of love.
After the initial falling in love phase is over, how we feel loved shifts. Sometimes we feel it, sometimes we don't.
However, there is a way to make each other feel really loved every day. Maybe twice or five times as loved as we normally do. This skill can be called the Love Multiplier.
Feeling much more love in your relationship is not hard. You simply need to discover your structure for feeling loved. You have a structure or personal way for feeling loved. When your partner does this or that you feel loved, when they do other things, you don't.
For example, you are not overwhelmed by feelings of love when a fly buzzes around your ear. When your lover whispers hot nothings into your ear you may feel very loved. The point is that some things make you feel loved, and some do not.
This is an important revelation.
Feelings of love don't just happen to us willy-nilly. Oftentimes, feelings are results, they have causes or "structures." Of all the things your mate does, when you can identify the behaviors that make you feel loved you can start to feel it "on purpose."
Each of us has a personal or idiosyncratic way that we feel love. Some of us feel more loved with visual displays like when our mate wears lingerie or brings us pretty flowers. Others of us feel loved in an auditory way, with the right music or the right tone in a lovers voice. To feel more love, you just need to figure out what things make you feel loved, and what things you do that make your mate feel loved, and start doing those things on purpose.
There is a lot more to figuring out our love buttons, but just this can help you to start bringing more love into your relationship on purpose every day. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 10:58 PM |
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Creative Dating Ideas - Lock in a Second Date
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Friday, July 10, 2009 |
I believe that women can, and should, come up with creative dating ideas as well. Because did you know that as a woman, coming up with the great dating ideas can give you many advantages including making the date fun, one of a kind, and as a bonus, it will surely entice HIM to come back for more. Too many times women think it's completely up to their dates to come up with the ideas, and they go along with it, but they just shouldn't.
No, he's not going to come back just to get more creative dating ideas, and steal them so that HE will be creative on his next dates, but he's going to be back for more because when YOU came up with the great ideas (which seems unplanned, we'll talk about that later), the date becomes unique, and naturally it would help the creation of attraction - of course, that's if the communication department agrees.
Now, firstly we should just rule out the widely known big three: movie, dinner and drinks. They are so not special in any way that if your man is quite a ladies man (just pretend that every guy is popular before you actually get him down into a relationship), the date becomes average that the focus is solely making a connection based on the conversation alone. Trust me, it can be done, but you'd rather make it easier on yourself, especially if you are one of those people who get nervous on first dates.
So what are some of the creative dating ideas?
Firstly, choose things that involve some action. I'm talking about bushwalking, rock climbing, or bike riding. Men bond with you better when put in a situation where he gets to do stuff. This is because he would be excited and start associating YOU with his excitement. You can even have 'coffee breaks' to carry out some real convos.
Sure enough I don't expect women to like sport so much - most probably don't, and if you are one of them, then here are some more creative dating ideas that would be a little more doable for you. Try game of pool or if your man actually play sport himself, go and watch him play. That will work well because he will feel so cool in front of you by being able to do something he's good at. You don't even have to actually compliment him with words.
Ok before we go any further, I'd like to give you some more creative dating ideas for use up your sleeve that are even easier to do (In my opinion). This works so well for my friend actually: Imagine that you are a tourist in wherever you are, get a tourist guide book from tourist information centre - yep, getting more creative aren't we? Flip through the pages and find something you can do easily and locally - try not to break your budget and do something that involves scenery. Hey, sometimes you miss all the great spots if you live in a place for too long.
And if you still aren't able to do those, try the theme park. Take advantage of the height adrenaline rush and again, excitement associated with you. But as a rule of thumb though, don't just focus completely on creating the super creative dating ideas for your dates, because you want to be interested in it as well. After all, YOU need to like the idea you are suggesting because a woman who is having a great laugh on the date is definitely more attractive than a woman who is just pretending to like the date. Hey, it's YOUR idea. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:30 PM |
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Sweet Love SMS collection to send to your Beloved
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Valentine day is celebrated on14th February every year around the globe. It is the day to celebrate Love. It is the day for Lovers. On this day, we express our feelings towards our beloved. If you love somebody, then this is the best day to propose him or her. On this beautiful day, every lover enjoys the freedom to express his/her feelings of Love.
Lovers usually celebrate this occasion by giving gifts and flowers to each other and sending Love Messages to each other. Our ancestors celebrate this occasion by sending Romantic Messages to each other on letter and greeting cards. But now, we have mobile Phones. So we can immediately type Love SMS and send it to our beloved.
With the innovative technologies like cell phone and computer, expressing your Love is very easy then before. We can use our cell phone to send Romantic and Love SMSes to our beloved. Moreover, if you are worried about the charges of SMS then you can use Internet to send messages to your partner free of cost. Finding Love Texts is also very easy as there are thousand of websites on internet providing free collection of Valentine messages.
Here are some of the Valentine Messages to send to your near and dear ones:
1. A kiss is just a kiss till u find the 1 u luv. A hug is just a hug till u find the 1 u're always thinkin of. A dream is just a dream till it comes true. Luv was just a word till I heard it from u.
2. Why do we close our eyes wen we sleep - wen we dream, wen we kiss? This is becoz the most precious thing in the world is unseen. When i close my eyes i see you!
3. Here is my heart It is yours so take it Treat it gently Please do not break it Its full of love thats nice and true So please keep it always close to u.
4. My eyes are blind without your eyes to see, Like a rose without color. Always be there in my life sweetheart.
5. I would cross a thousand oceans just to hold you tight. I would climb a thousand mountains just to be with you every single night. Darling I miss you so much.
6. There is in you a loveliness That makes my darkness shine, And so Ill wait, if wait I must, To be your Valentine Fond thoughts are coming your way; Weve always had a special connection, So Happy Valentines Day!
7. May this Valentine bless us with the cupid of love and warmth of romance. Happy Valentine's Day Honey!
8. My soul is shattered without your arms to hold me, Like a mirror without a reflection. I Love U my Valentine
9. Valentines Day is a day of love. Its a day when you find your true love. A day of hearts and yummy candies. A day when Cupid hits you with a love arrow. A day when you find your Valentine. Will you be mine?
10. The only regret I have is not knowing you since the day I was born - so that I will be able to spend my ENTIRE life with you.
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:20 PM |
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How To Get Ex Back Without Begging
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 When we lose our love or get dumped by our ex, it is very natural to miss them terribly. And because we miss them so badly, we can do some dumb things. One common thing many lovers do wrong is to beg and plead for a second chance.
You hopefully suspect begging doesn't work. One issue with pleading piteously is that it doesn't change their negative feelings about you. It may reinforce them. You need to understand the emotional logic that if your ex dumped you, their heart has more negative feelings for you now than positive ones.
You can beg all you want, but it won't change their negative feelings about you. They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.
To get your ex back fast without begging, you need to follow a specific reconnect plan. This reconnect plan must have a component that can help your ex to release the negative feelings they have about you that is causing you to be broken up.
There are several Immediate Reconnect Plans to follow depending on why you broke up. Each one has several steps you can take to actually help them to release the bad feelings they have about you so they can get back to love.
A very good first step, if you wronged your mate, is to just admit or fess up to what you did that was wrong. Do not try to justify your poor behavior with lame excuses. Just fess up like an adult.
The next step is to let them vent. Ask them how what you did made them feel. Then do your best to be quiet and listen. Let them take all the time they need to tell you how what you did made them feel. While they are venting they are releasing all the negative emotions that have built up inside them. If you can just listen, you are helping them to get over their upset and anger or hurt.
There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back. You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:13 PM |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Your all points are good indication about the general mis happenings in the relationship. But it can be solve out only after to sit together with your partner. I am quite sure whenever you sit & talk to each other definitely it will be solve out.
Allvira
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