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Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair
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Monday, July 13, 2009 |
Is it possible to convince your ex back into the relationship even though you have cheated? It has been observed that many relationships end because of an affair. But I disagree and believe that a relationship can still be restored to the way it was before the affair. Of course, both individuals have to be willing to put in the effort to save their relationship. This article is all about restoring the trust in relationship.
If you really want to have your relationship restored, the first thing you need is adjustment in your attitude and action. If you can do that, you have a higher chance to save your relationship.
Now look, it is very probable that if you choose to have an affair, you might also be having some attitude which made you stray. There is a possibility that there is something wrong in the relationship. And there is a big chance that you can heal that infection.
Let's get to the reason for why you strayed. Was your partner too busy to give you time? Or is it because she is not grooming herself?
If the relationship is perfect, then you are unlikely to go into an affair. So, how can you fix it? More often than not, it lies in analyzing yourself. But it also depend on the strength of your relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But you need to realize that understanding your thoughts are not good enough. What is important is that you need to take concrete action in solving those problems.
The key to restoring trust in your relationship does not lie in talking about the right things, but lies in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.
This certainly doesn't mean that you need to feel guilty about what you did forever. Just let her speak out whatever she has in her heart once and for all. It is obvious that in the beginning, she will not be happy about the new relationship you are building. Try to be more understanding.
Once you have got some of the trust back and she is now much more calm, try to make a positive spin about the incident. Try to let her know that this had made both of you more mature and you are more committed in your relationship than ever before. Just like a broken bone grows stronger from where it broke.
It takes time to restore trust in your relationship. It is important for both of you to amend your actions and attitudes toward each other. By working on your action and attitude, it will enhance the bonding between both of you and will surely lead to a better and healthier relationship. |
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posted by TINA ALBERT @ 11:12 PM  |
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